I just saw a hot homeless man
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize