Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize