You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
