My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i drank out of a bidet.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
