i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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