I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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