Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
pop tarts are not kleenex
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
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