If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
