and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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