I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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