put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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