there was a trapeze. enough said
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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