Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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