the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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