i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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