I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
