we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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