; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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