Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
