I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
