pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
