If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
