I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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