You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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