they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
