once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
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Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
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Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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