You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
