I skipped work to stalk him.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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