just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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