Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
