Redeem this text for a blowjob
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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