Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
