How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
