I showed him my bush... on skype.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
