he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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