that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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