He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize