People with herpes should wear stickers.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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