What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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