So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
