I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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