soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
