I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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