I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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