bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
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I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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