fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
