we're chasing vodka with high fives
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize