We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
