ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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