i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
