I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
