we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
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Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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