never play flip cup with pint glasses
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
