Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
