Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
