why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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