need another drink. this is the easiest way
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
