I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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