Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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